It's just been revoked

(name that quote)

If they had a driver's license revocation procedure equivalent to a citizen's arrest, the following would be among my chief targets.

* People who sit in the left-hand lane of a turn-or-straight lane through an entire red light, then flick on their left turn signal the minute the light turns green. AFTER I've already pulled up behind them. For the love of all that is holy, using your turn signal is NOT giving away secrets to the goddamn enemy.

* People who take left turns by FIRST swinging halfway into the right-hand lane. Excuse me sir, but you're driving a Kia, not an 18-wheeler or a schoolbus. You'll be able to make the turn.

* Right turn on red. Right turn on red. You can go right on red. Go. Go ahead. Now! GO! AAAAAAH!

And the most recent target in revocation of supermarket express lane privileges: Dude, you're buying a dollar fifty-eight worth of groceries. Don't wait until the cashier rings up your paltry purchase to haul out your wallet AND YOUR COIN PURSE. And fer cryin' out loud, if you haul out the coin purse, have exact change. And if you only have a buck-sixty, it's okay to let those two cents go as a thank you to the cashier for not braining you with the Frusion bottle you just bought. Put the change down, and just walk away.